Try answering "PBS" , , ,

and they'll throw you in gitmo.

Oh, yeah.

Life's fair.

Misinformation graphic

Have you seen this cat?

"Them's MY haids!"

A good, old-fashioned, mother-daughter West Virginia head theft.

Yeah, but how long will it take?

Like talking to a wall, only more frustrating

Conservatives proven to be irrational.

Mm-mm, b-a-c-o-n

Click on the photo.

I wonder if they've had trouble with people bogarting the condiments?

Religion

Thou Lone Star State

This takes balls the size of, well, you know ...

Admit it, a visit to the state fair . . .

. . . always brings neutering to mind.

"...he threw the gnome in frustration..."

I can relate.

Seafood!

I always order mine without.

"...25 braided hair extensions ripped from her head during the scuffle."

That's what you call vivid detail.

Shocking!

Lucky stiff. Kidding!

Just forget it.

Forget the entire thing. Let's just face it: our country can no longer pull off an election.

Did someone say "mounties?"

Oh! Canada!

Typical Yankee fan

This doesn't seem much weirder than other funerary customs. But it's getting attention.

In Texas he would have gotten the death penalty

Sounds like a head case.

Good one! I don't get it.

They say the old ones are the best ones.

All roads lead to Memphis

Elvis has left the Colosseum.

I've said it before and I'll say it again . . .

Dang.

I use it as dressing for a Post-It salad

Maybe he thought it would make him invisible.

Underwear Chicken

I hope they were clean underwear. Otherwise, he should be embarrassed.

This probably explains a lot

Poll.

Found at the library

Dang.

I want to party with this guy.

I'll bet this happens all the time

Walmart, eh?

New kids book

Another sign of the approaching apocalypse?

Police crack case . . .

. . . wide open.

Mm-mm, you can really taste the placenta!

". . . erased the distinctive odor of the beast, peach flavor."

For outstanding achievement

An award-winning pair.

Education, . . .

. . . Texas-style.

Finally!

"The Safest Rest You've Ever Had!"

Have they tried Preparation H?

Astronomers Find Oldest Known Asteroids

Chinglish signs

Hey, I used to use these as pick-up lines!

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said of the bathroom incident.

He saw it coming a mile away.

No need to worry

It only affects people who breathe.

What is going on?

Can you use this while wearing these?

What Happens When Your Name is 'Weenus' . . .

. . . and you've heard one too many John Denver songs.

Combat global warming

". . . [W]e ladies should focus on what we're really good at--interior decoration and taking care of men and children."

An essay and its editors.

Babysitters

Invader in the bedroom

Chairs

Dang.

"She picked up a furry dead rodent about the size of a football"

Someone alert Captain and Tennille!

Whew! Just dodged a bullet.

No, duh . . .

". . . the process of flirting actually mimics brain damage . . . "

Come for the race,

stay for the pageant!

You mean . . .

. . . it's not supposed to be steaming?

Opportunity knocks!

For immediate release.

Way to go, . . .

. . . ignoramasi!

Subtitling fiasco turns film into a comedy of errors

Burking in Paris, royal-style

Are women human?

Well, are they?

I think I saw a guy at the library wearing one of these.

Or it might have been a salad bowl.

Worst. President. Ever.

George W. Bush's Overall Job Approval to New Low

Cincinnati girls

like to party.

Yeah, that'll do it

Woman Says Being Declared Dead Ruins Life

Hillary Clinton and the double standard

"This is sociopathic woman-hating."

For the young folks

It's music to their rears!

Well, her clothes were probably in the dryer

". . . greeted the police process server in her underwear."

It's fun to stay there

Also, odorless skunks can be a hazard.

Kansas

We view officials as officials

torture methods

No thanks, I'll take the waterboarding instead.

Police get to the bottom of things

Actual headline.

These guys still look tough, . . .

. . . but I bet I could outrun them all.

Finally!

"Holy mackerel!" said actor Henry Winkler

A born-again Christian . . .

. . . named Butt Naked.

Now will you stop eating seafood?

Consider yourself berated.

President Reagan: fiscal butthead

"Facts are stupid things."

Contact Lenses With Circuits, Lights A Possible Platform For Superhuman Vision

Bunnies with x-ray vision

I recommend the "Bury" juice

Don't stiff the waiter.

Leona Helmsley

Picky, picky

". . . beauties of Thornham Walks . . . "

Don't mess with the Fabmeister

"'. . . you'll be like, 'Fabio, I can't believe how much energy I have.'"

How old are ya?

I just want to bang on the drum all day.

Repress U: How to Build a Homeland Security Campus in Seven Steps

You're out of line, soldier.

National Debt Chart

But Republicans are good with money, right?

Opening Soon in Your Area

Commodore Huckabee's Flim-Flamlicious Family Theme Restaurant and Dog Murdery. Official spokesperson? Michael Vick.

Paying Insurgents

Your tax money, at work.

Bush supporters like their censorship

Oh, you say Bush wants to take away my Constitutional rights? That's ok then, as long as it's Bush.

They were short a few acorns

Eden

Personally, I'm more of a butt man.

Parallel universes beguile science.